When your partner won't come to therapy (or doesn't even think anything is wrong), it can feel like you're carrying the weight of your relationship alone.
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You've read all the articles, tried to initiate change, maybe even begged for connection, but nothing seems to land.
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You are constantly wondering if you're asking for too much or not enough.
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Every conversations feels like walking on eggshells.
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And despite all your effort, you still feel disconnected, frustrated, and alone in your relationship.
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You try to talk ... they shut down.
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You set boundaries ... they ignore them.
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And here you are, trying to hold the relationship together by yourself.
In therapy, we will focus on what you can control. Your patterns. Your reactions. Your clarity. Your values. We will explore how you are showing up and where your power actually is.
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And most importantly ... we will focus on what you deserve.
Sometimes, all it takes is one person changing the dynamic to shift the entire relationship.
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Whether things improve or not, you will be operating from a place of confidence and clarity, not desperation.
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Therapy isn't about who is right or wrong ... it is about change, insight and growth.
Feeling clear about your needs, wants and desires in your relationship
Feeling confident and prepared to have hard conversations
Setting boundaries without guilt
Recognize red flags before they spiral into explosive conflict
Realizing you are worth more than breadcrumbs. ​
Can you imagine that?
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Feeling like you have finally been able to find out who you are and what you want within a relationship that needs a bit of a makeover. Because this process isn't about fixing your partner, it is about showing up differently for yourself.
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You don't have to do this alone. ​
It is hard to really visualize what therapy is going to look like and how it works. To make it easy, I want to let you know what to expect.
The first few sessions are really for me to get to know you better. So understand that it is a process before we really start to work.
The first session is a lot of word vomit because I am trying to get a sense of everything that is going on and really go through some of the “standard” questions. These questions are for me to gauge where you are and where you want to go.
For the second session, I do like to get a bit of history. To start unpacking your baggage, I need to know what I am working with.
The third session is where we start building tools to help you in your vision.
Now, there may be hurdles. There may be times where you feel uncomfortable talking about things. That is ok. It is expected. I am mindful that this process can be emotionally exhausting, but remember it is necessary.
Once you start to see changes, I will reduce your sessions so that you can start to put those tools to use. The more open, honest, and vulnerable you are in the process, the more results you will start to see. Eventually, we will come to a point where therapy has done its job and it is time for you spread your wings and FLY (LOL)!
Your current relationship questions
Getting your relationship questions answered can help to determine you needs, wants, and desires. Also, sometimes it helps to figure out if things are unhealthy or healthy relationship patterns. I would also be able to provide additional resources for you to checkout like podcasts, books, websites, etc based on your specific needs.
Better communication skills
Learn how to speak, so that you are heard, but also learn how to listen to your partner so that they don't shut down. We will practice communication that is clear, assertive and less reactive.
Implementing Self-Care
One of the biggest challenges I find with clients is that they aren’t taking care of themselves. They often place priority in others and therefore, can feel overwhelmed by the expectations of others. It is important to talk about what is needed for self-care and creating boundaries in order for change to be long-lasting and beneficial.
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Setting and Maintaining Boundaries
Boundaries in a relationship, may seem a bit harsh or unexpected, but it is necessary in order to gain clarity and self-respect. You will learn how to identify what is okay and what is not and how to stick to these limits without feeling guilty.
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Deciding whether to stay or go
Sometimes clarity comes from sorting through the confusion of staying in a relationship with someone who isn't emotionally involved. We will look into your options and values without pressure, just perspective.
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Working through resentment and unmet expectations
Lingering in resentment poisons connection. We will work on processing what has been building up and explore what healing and rebuilding can actually look like.
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AND MORE ...
CAN INDIVIDUAL THERAPY REALLY HELP IF MY PARTNER ISN'T INVOLVED?
While we can't force change in others, we can work on change for you and how you show up. That can often times shift the entire relationship dynamic.
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That said, I also won't lie to your or pretend that your effort alone can save something that is deeply imbalanced. There are times where we will reach a "brick wall" because you have done all that you can. At that point in time, it becomes a conversation about whether staying in this reality is still aligned with who you are (or who you want to become).
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Therapy creates a space to process that crossroad with honesty, support and without shame.
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WILL YOU TELL ME WHETHER I SHOULD STAY OR LEAVE?
No. However, I will help you gain the clarity you need to make that decision for yourself.
WHAT IF THE PROBLEM IS ME?
Let's be real ... that is a possibility. In all honesty, we all own a portion of responsibility in the problem (with the exception of very extreme cases) and I help my clients understand how they show up in their relationship in order to understand the change that they need to make.
